Trigger Warning: This blog contains discussions about suicide and self-harm, which may be distressing for some readers. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek help. Here are a few helplines for immediate support and assistance. You are not alone.
Global Suicide Prevention Hotlines can be found at https://findahelpline.com/
Helplines for India
Sneha: +91 44 2464 0050
Tele-Manas: 1800-891-4416 or 14416
Suicide is a deeply sensitive and complex issue that affects countless lives. We must learn to discuss it openly and compassionately to support those in crisis and prevent losses.
It’s not easy to talk about suicide; however, it is crucial. We must understand that openly discussing it is the first step to making a change and contributing to making this a safer and kinder world for all. We might be afraid or confused about approaching this topic as we fear saying the wrong thing, but we can make a difference with some techniques recommended by experts in the field.
So, today, with the help of this blog, we aim to guide how to approach conversations about suicide with empathy and effectiveness.
Creating A Safe Space
When someone confides in you or someone about suicidal thoughts, the priority is to create a safe, non-judgmental space for them to express themselves. Here are some key points to remember:
1. Listen Actively: Recall a moment when you were discussing a subject that mattered deeply to you, and it felt as though the person you were speaking with was genuinely engaged and fully attentive to your words. This is what we call active listening.
Give your full attention by maintaining eye contact, eliminating distractions (such as putting away your phone), asking insightful questions, showing understanding through nods, and mirroring similar emotions to theirs. However, be careful not to assume full comprehension of their experience, as empathy doesn’t equate to knowing the full extent of someone else’s situation.
2. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their pain without minimising or dismissing it. Say things like, “I can hear how much you’re struggling” or “That must be incredibly difficult to deal with.”
Validating someone’s feelings allows them to feel heard, understood, and cared for, which can profoundly impact your relationship with that person. This kind of validation encourages open communication and builds trust, connection, and cohesive relationships, which can be crucial in suicide prevention efforts.
3. Ask Direct Questions: Don’t be afraid to ask, “Are you thinking about suicide?” This doesn’t plant the idea; it shows you are willing to discuss it openly and without judgment. Asking direct questions demonstrates that you’re truly present in the conversation and invested in their well-being. When people feel like they can talk honestly about their feelings, it can reduce their sense of shame or fear around the topic of suicide.
4. Stay Calm: Your composure can help the person feel more at ease and willing to open up. It can help the person feel more at ease, reducing the emotional intensity of the situation. Staying calm shows them that you are strong enough to handle the gravity of their emotions and thoughts
Active listening, validating feelings, asking direct questions, and staying calm not only foster connection but also demonstrate genuine concern, which is a critical part of a strong suicide prevention approach. Building these trusting, supportive relationships may help prevent crises and empower someone to seek further help before it’s too late.
However, suicide prevention is not the responsibility of one person alone; and never should be. It is a task for several stakeholders involved in supporting its prevention. If you feel overwhelmed as someone walking through this or a friend, relative supporting someone, please seek help.
What to Say (& What Not to Say)
We often feel confused and overwhelmed when we have a loved one expressing thoughts of suicide or self-harm. Here are some helpful phrases to use:
- “I am here for you, and I want to help.”
- “You are not alone in this. Let’s figure it out together.”
- “Your life matters to me and others.”
- “I may not understand exactly how you feel, but I care about and want to support you.”
Please be mindful that you avoid saying things like:
- “It’s not that bad” or “You have so much to live for”, as this invalidates their feelings and thoughts.
- “Think about how this would hurt your family.” This can induce guilt and make them feel worse.
- “You are just going through a phase”, as this trivialises their experience and suffering.
- “Suicide is selfish.” This can sound judgmental and unhelpful.
Strategies for Improving Dialogue
Here are some other things we can take into consideration.
1. Educate Yourself: Learn about suicide risk factors, warning signs, and local resources. The more informed we are, the better we can help. A few sources are at the end of this article.
2. Practice Active Listening: Focus on understanding rather than immediately trying to solve the problem.
3. Use “I” Statements: Share your concerns using phrases like “I am worried about you” rather than “You are making me worried.” Using “I” statements expresses your feelings without blame, preventing the other person from feeling defensive. This approach creates a safer space for open communication, avoiding guilt or withdrawal.
4. Encourage Professional Help: Suggest speaking with a mental health professional and offer to help them find resources or make an appointment. Encouraging professional help is crucial for someone in crisis. While your support is valuable, professional intervention provides essential tools for long-term well-being. Offering to help find resources or make an appointment shows proactive care and ensures they get the support they need.
5. Follow-up: Check in regularly with them, even after the immediate crisis has passed. Consistent support can make a significant difference in their lives.
Encouraging Help-Seeking Behavior
To encourage people to seek support:
1. Normalise Mental Health Discussions: Discuss mental health and therapy openly to reduce stigma. Sharing success stories can also be helpful.
2. Be A Bridge: Offer to accompany someone to their first therapy appointment or help them call a crisis hotline.
3. Emphasise Strength: Frame seeking help as a sign of courage and self-awareness, not weakness.
Building A Supportive Language
When discussing suicide prevention more broadly:
1. Use Person-First Language: Say ”person with suicidal thoughts” rather than “suicidal person.” We must create this distinction and not label the person negatively, which may make it difficult for them to seek help.
2. Emphasise Hope & Recovery: In our dialogue and discussions, we need to talk more about suicide and see it as a temporary crisis that can be overcome with support. A solution or focused-oriented language should be adopted.
3. Highlight Protective Factors: When discussing suicide, it is also important that we highlight the importance of social connections, coping skills, and reasons for living.
4. The Power of Words: When talking about suicide, our choice of words matters immensely. Instead of saying someone “committed suicide,” which can carry connotations of crime or sin, use phrases like “died by suicide” or “took their own life.” This shift in language helps reduce stigma and shows respect for the person and their loved ones.
Additionally, you can add a few more things and change your approach a little when adolescents are concerned. Here are some tools by the The Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide to talk to teens and help prevent suicide.
Final Words
Talking about suicide doesn’t increase the risk – it often provides relief and can be the first step towards getting help. We can create a society where those struggling feel supported and empowered to seek the help they need by fostering open and compassionate dialogue. Every conversation has the potential to save a life, and together, we can make a difference in suicide prevention.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to a suicide prevention hotline or seek professional help immediately. You are not alone, and support is available.
For emergencies, you can also connect with local large government medical college hospitals or Google for “psychiatrists near me.”
References
https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/apa-resource-on-suicide-and-media
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/suicide-prevention
https://www.apa.org/topics/suicide/prevention-teens
For Schools, Clinicians, Organisations and Systemic Stakeholders:
https://ontario.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/YSPCollab_SchoolBasedSP-LPInitiative_EN_v2_Screen.pdf
https://www.health.qld.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0027/1125864/qh-gdl-967.pdf
Quite useful and an important topic in today’s world. Where people think talking about suicide means giving the other person an idea to do it.
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